i just read sum1's blog.. n she's described sth so familiar. so near. so real. n so my feelings.. well, i donot know hw to put tt in words n i think she did a good job.. well.. its rly cool to find out sum1 who has e same kind of feelings as u, who shares dese kind of sweet agony..
hahah..
such sweet agony.
to like someone in the dark. to control the emotion tides from tipping over. to just watch her and feel the joy from within. to feel the heartbeat the moment she is near. to feel the nerves thumping when we touch. to laugh with her and feel free. to think of her just about anytime. to drag and wait for her. to feel playful around her. to bites my lips before speaking to her. to keep an eyes on her whatever i am doing. to just feel great without burden. to suspect when she talks to you unnecessarily whether she likes you too. to just watch from a distance, not too far, not too close. to make her laugh. to make her happy. to feel happy.
such sweet agony.
to hide all the feelings behind a mask. to befriend everyone else so that it wont be obvious. to hold back the words to not jeopardise what we are now. to heard of her with another girl. to watch her laugh whole-heartedly with someone else. to know that i ll never be close enough. to learn that a few more weeks all will be but a sweet memory. to smile and feel distorted. to crave for attention but get none. to do all i could but its still not enough. to run and pretend not to care. to stop myself from going mad. to keep it in, sealed and undelivered. to pen all these down cause i cant let it out. to control myself from losing control. to sleep beneath the shadow. to let her shine but unwilling to let her get away. to realise that she ll be away soon anyway. to be warned that this feeling in condemned. to know that i shouldnt even like her in the first place. to save everything. to learn to give up without trying. i wish i could dive in and lose myself.hardest is to control this overwhelming feeling.
triggered accidentally.
so sweet.
so agonising.
such sweet agony.